Regression Analysis

Note: This is an abbreviated version of the Keys today as this week has been extremely, well not busy, but just lazy I guess...I usually have a little scrap written by Monday night and knock out bits as the week progresses, but this week I didn't begin writing til yesterday...and that was only a paragraph. (I imagine many of you may enjoy a shorter version this week, since apparently the attention spans of most web surfers is shorter than the vertical leap of a gnat), but I digress...

Bengals Recap:

Marvin's best Manning face impression

It was a picture imperfect loss that hearkened back to the lost decade of the 90's as the Bengals escorted the Steelers to the wood shed where they proceeded to get one-offed. This season is slowly turning into the worst case scenario where the Bengals overachieved themselves out of a top draft pick, and yet, still did not make the playoffs.

The Bengals feasted off  inferior teams in the first half of the year, but as we have moved into Act II, and the much tougher progression, the Bengals have not been up to the challenge. They probably won't make the playoffs and will finish a mediocre 8-8 or 9-7 placing them at 18-20 in draft order. I pose the question, would it have been better for the Bengals to flame out from the beginning of the season (as opposed to now)? They have regressed this past month making multiples of mistakes that they just did not make in the first half of the season. I don't even need to really recap that game because we all saw what it was, classic 90's.

In the NFL, Injuries Happen...

Texans "just keep on rolling along"

Meanwhile, as some Bengals fans blame injuries for the downward spiraling Bengals over the last month, the Texans are down to their #3 QB, but they keep on rolling like old man river. It is an amazing story as I expected the wheels to come off that bus a few weeks ago with the injury to Schaub. Not only did the wheels not come off, but the Texans are in the upper-echelon of the AFC race. Injuries are part of the NFL season and teams prepare for them. This is why depth is so important at every position. In the Texans case, and really in everybody's case, it never hurts to have a strong run game and a beastly WR that can go get balls.

Powerless Rankings

The 1, 2, are locked up, but 3-5 are still way up for grabs as the Vikes are showing they still have a little fight left in 'em, Tampa Bay continues their momentum by moving down a spot and the Jags re-enter the stage as one of the most Powerless squads in the league.

Say no more...

1. Indy (Need we say more? Yes. Even a few garbage TD's in the 4Q of the NE game can't derail this train.The question is no longer are they the most Powerless, but will they continue to flame out on their way to Imperfection and a Defeated season)
2. St. Louis (St. Louis is almost married to the #2 spot, other Powerless teams need to speak now or forever hold their peace)
3. Minnesota (They appear to still be scrapping, which shows you how terrible they are to be #3. If only they would commit to losing, they could overtake the Rams for the #2 slot)
4. Tampa Bay (Losers of 6 straight, they have no answers and I suspect there will be some coach firings at some point soon)
5. Jax (The only thing saving the Jags from completely rising in the Powerless rankings is the Human Bowling Ball. I have never seen an organization turn over ownership, management, coaching staff in the same afternoon...that's just not good business no matter the industry)

Dishonorable mention: Washington (will they fire the "Genius" Shanahan?) Cleveland (It just is what it is)

Retraction: KC, although wildly inconsistent, is not in the bottom 5 of the league. I thought my indicators pointed to their eventual fading (and they still do) but I can no longer justify them in the top 5. There are exceptions to every rule, and right now KC is the exception to my Powerless Rankings indicators.

Are We Flex Yet?

How's this for a Monday night match up: Rams @ Seahawks. Somebody, anybody, everybody, SCREAAAAAAAAAM!!! First of all, the NFC West should be banned from prime time period! Even in the off season, who thought this would be a good idea? We are entering the thick of the playoff hunt and this is the game that gets featured? Let's get some with playoff implications, there are plenty. Oy Vey!

In fairness to the NFL, I think they are flexing Sunday nights now...but let's extend this to the entire season and also to Monday nights. Last week's Monday nighter scored a 3.8 Nielsen rating (representing 9M households). While that wins cable, it's a scrap compared to the networks. MNF should be the highest rated show on a Monday night in the cable universe or otherwise.

Colts Keys to Defeat

The Colts have no chance of winning but I do keys anyways:

1. For the Ravens to wake up and go to the stadium and play.
2. Keep not doing what they have not been doing all season (namely blocking, tackling, covering, running, catching).
3. Put the weight of the offense on Orvlosky or whoever the QB is.
4. Just lay down from opening kick off.
5. Stay down.
6. During the game, drift off into thoughts on whether or not Peyton will be traded

KtoD Sets the Trends

KtoD is trending up!

In taking a quick breeze around the internet, I see people featuring the losers and dregs of the NFL Society and ranking them and such. (Most don't put the hard minutes of analysis that I do, and simply go by record). Pete Prisco of cbssports.com finally realizes something I recognized at least a month ago, that this could be the most historic NFL season ever with a team going 16-0 and another team going 0-16. Stick with me, and you will be always be one step ahead on matters of unimportance in the NFL. Next, the NFL will flex all prime time games at some point in the next year or two...Mark me!


Parting Shot

Before sentencing

After sentencing

"Rowdy Roddy" Blagojevich was sentenced to 14 years in federal prison. Ouch...They way Blago was running around the past 3 years and doing TV, radio, and books, you wouldn't think that much was at stake. Talk about a message. This is where my natural inclination wants to say what about other corrupt Chitown politicians, I mean everybody knows the game is low-down and dirty in the Chi, right? But since I do not live there and can only go by heresay, I will forgo the damning of all Chicago politicians. My question is, is it worth it? Was the office and the power that came with it worth it? Mr. Blagojevich will have plenty of time to think that one over and sincerely come to grips with, and reconcile his wrongdoings.

Thanks for reading

God bless!

Postscript: I will probably beef this up if anything new and exciting happens so check back before Sunday.