BCS Debuts in the NFL:

Colts = Berbick in Round 2

It was a statement game by the Colts. It served to put the rest of the League on notice that the Colts are deadly serious about getting that #1 pick and that no team in this league lacks the chops to blow them out. In a colossal lack of effort, the Colts showed why they are one of the top powerless teams in the NFL. This game was more lopsided than the Tyson v Berbick fight (google or youtube it young bucks) or Tyson v anybody in his first 19 bouts.

It was shockingly ugly and brings to mind something a near-genius once said: “the 2nd half ratings for this Sunday night’s matchup of the Colts v Saints may drop below the Mendoza line (that’s below a 2 Nielsen rating for you non-baseball folks).” Seriously, is the Sheriff (Goodell) and the NFL that arrogant that they think they can traipse this type of rubbish in a prime time slot and continue to captivate viewers? If I worked at the NFL things would be different. Mr. Goodell, FLEX all prime time matchups…really, it’s not that hard!

Fact checkers, please score me the Nielsen ratings for the second half (10:00-11:30) of Sunday night’s game. (Thanks).

No way NO puts up 62 against Dungy

I am left wondering (and so are Colts fans) if Dungy were leading the Manning-less Colts, would they have caught such a nuclear warhead full of whoop-arse from the Saints. This once again brings me back to the conspiracy of the Colts tanking purposely (This column refuses to use that other term that so many are talking about that rhymes with buck or tuck). They could have picked up a QB ready to come in and be competitive in David Garrard, but they chose to go with Painter…

The Colts are beginning to put some real distance between themselves and the other lower-echelon teams. The 2008 Lions have good reason to be concerned at this point in the season. If Indy didn’t feel the pressure of the Imperfect Season before, they are certainly feeling it now. There is nothing like a good 62-7 rogering to amp up expectations of going Defeated.

Indy 500? Or put another way, could Indy allow 500? Or put another way, could Indy allow 500 points this season? It is not that tough as all you have to do is give up 31.5 per game…Actually, that is tough, very tough, so tough in my limited research I only found one other team who did it, but Indy is up for the challenge as they have allowed 225 points through 7 games giving up an average 32.1 per game.  Who was the last team to give up 500 in a season…You may be thinking last year’s Broncos, but they only gave up 471…Maybe you are thinking the Defeated 2008 Lions and you are right!!!!!! That fearful D gave up 517 points on their way to Imperfection. They followed up with a dim performance in 2009 by giving up 494, but 2 wins makes all the difference.

So there you have it…an early key indicator given to you by the Keys to Defeat blog. If a team has what it takes to run the table in reverse…500 points is the benchmark. You heard that one here first!!!

The Glass Slipper Is Slipping off the Lions’ Paw: 

Stafford is the glass slipper

The near-genius quoted above also said earlier this month, “I'm not one for the "jinx" but if Stafford goes down-I think there's odds on this in Vegas-the Lions will go Lions.” Apparently I am one for the jinx, by mentioning the reality before the reality, the reality has come to pass…

Hopefully Stafford can go this weekend, but if you’re the Detroit front office looking at Matt’s injury history, you have got to be asking yourself, how long are we going to stick with this kid who is ultra-talented but can’t last a whole season?

Sidenote: Believe it or not, Carson gave the Raiders the best chance to win last Sunday.

CJ2K (man that’s a stupid nickname)

So, Chris Johnson says, “hey! Don’t blame me because our run game sucks!” (paraphrase) So, you make it all about the money, missed training camp holding out, got the huge payday, but at what cost? If you miss camp, you are simply not ready to come in at the beginning of the season and be effective. Compound that by the fact that your mind is on the money and the money’s on your mind (and not so much the football). So now, you got the payday but don’t want the responsibility that comes with it. Mr. Johnson I submit to you this: to whom much is given, much is required. So buck up, take responsibility take the O line out to dinner and have a great rest of the year…

Powerless Rankings:

There were some major moves in our Powerless Rankings this past Sunday with a switch in the top spot and 2 new entrants into the top 5…

All Colts are sporting Manningfaces

1. Indy (leap-frogged past St. Louis with a vengeance)

2. St. Louis (Even with a lackluster performance v the Cowboys, it wasn’t enough to hold off Indy from overtaking them for the #1 spot)

3. Miami (came back to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, but they are not in the same league as our top 2)

4. Arizona (debuts in the top 5 by riding a 5 game losing streak which is soon to become 6 as they visit a peeved Ravens squad)

5. Minnesota (also debuting in the top 5, they just lack the personnel to get it done…AP should be carrying the rock 40 times a game up there)

Dishonorable mention: KC (I know they are 3-3, but trust me on this, this team is terrible); Jax (in spite of their upset against the Ravens their prospects are bleak and I expect them to finish in the top 5) Seattle and Cleveland (both parties in a 6-3 game should be banned form the league!) Denver (I will keep them around until we see what the next week or 2 brings)

St. Louis Overshadowed?

In any other week, the Rams shellacking at the hands of the Boys would have garnered them national attention, but they were upstaged by the Colts getting blibifoiticated (term coined by my high school buddy “Snake”) on national TV. Well, the Rams have their chance now to upend the Colts and get back on top. The Rams don’t necessarily have to give up 62, but if they don’t score a TD and maybe give up 50 that might be enough…or better yet if they got beat 102-0, that would be even better.

Keys to Defeat:

The Bengals have another light-hitter coming up this week in the Seattle Seahawks. After a couple weeks against teams it looked impossible to sneak out with a defeat against…you can add the Seahawks to that list. But I believe we can upgrade the Bengals prospects for a loss to a mere improbable this week due to a couple of factors. Seahawks have a stingy (I think yards per carry) run D, and Benson is serving a 1 game suspension this week. So there is just a little glimmer of hope if the Bengals can focus on the run and put themselves in unmanageable 3^rd down situations, where they have been weak all season. But if the Bengals stay true to form (so far this season) they will simply grind it out and run 30 times for 3 yards a pop and let Big Red toss the rock 35 or so times and dominate the tempo of the game and the time of possession. Anyway…I’m getting ahead of myself:

Keys note: I can’t wait to get to the second half of the schedule where things look a little more challenging. As my good friend Babylonian commented to me, “The Bengals are taking a (dump) on the Keys to Defeat.” (Parentheses mine as Babylonian is much more colorful with the language than that.) But my friend, that’s ok by me. I will adapt, shrink the keys and focus on other topics and such, but mark me, this much is sure…As long as Mike Brown and family control that front office, the Keys are here to stay. The Bengals may have blown a top 5 pick for this year, but there is still a lot of ball to be played and a top 10 pick is still achievable if they lose focus beginning this week. 

Tune in next Thursday for the Bengals recap, more from around the dungeon of the NFL, Powerless Rankings, and of course your Keys to Defeat!!!

Thanks for reading the

The grace of our Lord be with you