BCS Debuts in the NFL:

Colts = Berbick in Round 2

It was a statement game by the Colts. It served to put the rest of the League on notice that the Colts are deadly serious about getting that #1 pick and that no team in this league lacks the chops to blow them out. In a colossal lack of effort, the Colts showed why they are one of the top powerless teams in the NFL. This game was more lopsided than the Tyson v Berbick fight (google or youtube it young bucks) or Tyson v anybody in his first 19 bouts.

It was shockingly ugly and brings to mind something a near-genius once said: “the 2nd half ratings for this Sunday night’s matchup of the Colts v Saints may drop below the Mendoza line (that’s below a 2 Nielsen rating for you non-baseball folks).” Seriously, is the Sheriff (Goodell) and the NFL that arrogant that they think they can traipse this type of rubbish in a prime time slot and continue to captivate viewers? If I worked at the NFL things would be different. Mr. Goodell, FLEX all prime time matchups…really, it’s not that hard!

Fact checkers, please score me the Nielsen ratings for the second half (10:00-11:30) of Sunday night’s game. (Thanks).

No way NO puts up 62 against Dungy

I am left wondering (and so are Colts fans) if Dungy were leading the Manning-less Colts, would they have caught such a nuclear warhead full of whoop-arse from the Saints. This once again brings me back to the conspiracy of the Colts tanking purposely (This column refuses to use that other term that so many are talking about that rhymes with buck or tuck). They could have picked up a QB ready to come in and be competitive in David Garrard, but they chose to go with Painter…

The Colts are beginning to put some real distance between themselves and the other lower-echelon teams. The 2008 Lions have good reason to be concerned at this point in the season. If Indy didn’t feel the pressure of the Imperfect Season before, they are certainly feeling it now. There is nothing like a good 62-7 rogering to amp up expectations of going Defeated.

Indy 500? Or put another way, could Indy allow 500? Or put another way, could Indy allow 500 points this season? It is not that tough as all you have to do is give up 31.5 per game…Actually, that is tough, very tough, so tough in my limited research I only found one other team who did it, but Indy is up for the challenge as they have allowed 225 points through 7 games giving up an average 32.1 per game.  Who was the last team to give up 500 in a season…You may be thinking last year’s Broncos, but they only gave up 471…Maybe you are thinking the Defeated 2008 Lions and you are right!!!!!! That fearful D gave up 517 points on their way to Imperfection. They followed up with a dim performance in 2009 by giving up 494, but 2 wins makes all the difference.

So there you have it…an early key indicator given to you by the Keys to Defeat blog. If a team has what it takes to run the table in reverse…500 points is the benchmark. You heard that one here first!!!

The Glass Slipper Is Slipping off the Lions’ Paw: 

Stafford is the glass slipper

The near-genius quoted above also said earlier this month, “I'm not one for the "jinx" but if Stafford goes down-I think there's odds on this in Vegas-the Lions will go Lions.” Apparently I am one for the jinx, by mentioning the reality before the reality, the reality has come to pass…

Hopefully Stafford can go this weekend, but if you’re the Detroit front office looking at Matt’s injury history, you have got to be asking yourself, how long are we going to stick with this kid who is ultra-talented but can’t last a whole season?

Sidenote: Believe it or not, Carson gave the Raiders the best chance to win last Sunday.

CJ2K (man that’s a stupid nickname)

So, Chris Johnson says, “hey! Don’t blame me because our run game sucks!” (paraphrase) So, you make it all about the money, missed training camp holding out, got the huge payday, but at what cost? If you miss camp, you are simply not ready to come in at the beginning of the season and be effective. Compound that by the fact that your mind is on the money and the money’s on your mind (and not so much the football). So now, you got the payday but don’t want the responsibility that comes with it. Mr. Johnson I submit to you this: to whom much is given, much is required. So buck up, take responsibility take the O line out to dinner and have a great rest of the year…

Powerless Rankings:

There were some major moves in our Powerless Rankings this past Sunday with a switch in the top spot and 2 new entrants into the top 5…

All Colts are sporting Manningfaces

1. Indy (leap-frogged past St. Louis with a vengeance)

2. St. Louis (Even with a lackluster performance v the Cowboys, it wasn’t enough to hold off Indy from overtaking them for the #1 spot)

3. Miami (came back to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, but they are not in the same league as our top 2)

4. Arizona (debuts in the top 5 by riding a 5 game losing streak which is soon to become 6 as they visit a peeved Ravens squad)

5. Minnesota (also debuting in the top 5, they just lack the personnel to get it done…AP should be carrying the rock 40 times a game up there)

Dishonorable mention: KC (I know they are 3-3, but trust me on this, this team is terrible); Jax (in spite of their upset against the Ravens their prospects are bleak and I expect them to finish in the top 5) Seattle and Cleveland (both parties in a 6-3 game should be banned form the league!) Denver (I will keep them around until we see what the next week or 2 brings)

St. Louis Overshadowed?

In any other week, the Rams shellacking at the hands of the Boys would have garnered them national attention, but they were upstaged by the Colts getting blibifoiticated (term coined by my high school buddy “Snake”) on national TV. Well, the Rams have their chance now to upend the Colts and get back on top. The Rams don’t necessarily have to give up 62, but if they don’t score a TD and maybe give up 50 that might be enough…or better yet if they got beat 102-0, that would be even better.

Keys to Defeat:

The Bengals have another light-hitter coming up this week in the Seattle Seahawks. After a couple weeks against teams it looked impossible to sneak out with a defeat against…you can add the Seahawks to that list. But I believe we can upgrade the Bengals prospects for a loss to a mere improbable this week due to a couple of factors. Seahawks have a stingy (I think yards per carry) run D, and Benson is serving a 1 game suspension this week. So there is just a little glimmer of hope if the Bengals can focus on the run and put themselves in unmanageable 3^rd down situations, where they have been weak all season. But if the Bengals stay true to form (so far this season) they will simply grind it out and run 30 times for 3 yards a pop and let Big Red toss the rock 35 or so times and dominate the tempo of the game and the time of possession. Anyway…I’m getting ahead of myself:

Keys note: I can’t wait to get to the second half of the schedule where things look a little more challenging. As my good friend Babylonian commented to me, “The Bengals are taking a (dump) on the Keys to Defeat.” (Parentheses mine as Babylonian is much more colorful with the language than that.) But my friend, that’s ok by me. I will adapt, shrink the keys and focus on other topics and such, but mark me, this much is sure…As long as Mike Brown and family control that front office, the Keys are here to stay. The Bengals may have blown a top 5 pick for this year, but there is still a lot of ball to be played and a top 10 pick is still achievable if they lose focus beginning this week. 

Tune in next Thursday for the Bengals recap, more from around the dungeon of the NFL, Powerless Rankings, and of course your Keys to Defeat!!!

Thanks for reading the

The grace of our Lord be with you

Say Bye-Bye to Bengals High 2012 Draft Pick (Unless Da Raidas Tank)

Bengals Recap:

The Bengals showed up. There is almost no way they could have achieved defeat outside of not making it to the playing field and thereby forfeiting. (At this point I am supposed to say, “no, but seriously,” except that I was already being serious). OK, OK, seriously, the Bengals are simply not getting it done in some key areas, that if you want to be considered a serious contender for a top spot in the draft, you have to get done! The biggest I think to date is turnovers. This young team is simply not turning the ball over and they are also taking it away. How in the world are you going to compete with Indy and St. Louis if you aren’t losing the turnover battle. The Bengals are not serious about getting a high draft pick this year.

Not pretty and not ineffective

The other area that the Bengals are not getting it done (and the game against the Colts demonstrates this to perfection) is in not sticking with the run. They are waaaay too balanced. In my early Keys, I always said, it was key that Dalton throw the rock around the stadium 35-40 times, thus taking away some run opportunities. But the Bengals and Gruden are calling the opposite. They are running and sticking to it, no matter what. Again this will not get you the title “The Greatest Show on Turf” but it will prevent the Bengals from picking up L’s. Case in point, on Sunday they ran it 31 times for a paltry 3 yards per carry. For the novice, you may say, “well that is terrible,” but that type of commitment to the ground game ensures control of the ball and clock (the Bengals held the ball 34 mins vs. Indy’s 26 mins).

The Colts outplayed the Bengals in most areas on Sunday, and the Bengals even went a little old school by giving up a football field (over 100 yards) in penalties, but these guys are finding ways not to lose and that is not how Cincinnati football is played.

2008 Lions Getting Nervous:

I’m not going to say the Colts have mailed in the season (even though that may very well be the case), but they are flirting with smallness as they have a real shot at joining the 2008 Lions in the “Defeated” club.  Of course, the 2008 Lions are sitting by every week at this point with the finest Cubans and Champagne waiting to celebrate the last team grabbing a win, but they may have to wait a while for the Colts.

They are in the midst of a “perfect storm” of failure with injuries to key players or should I say thee player, Mr. Endorsement, combined with the fact that they are playing a division winning schedule (meaning they play the first place teams from the other divisions). They are 0-6 and on a virtual cruise control of defeat.

Sidenote: I am not sure what division the AFC South plays in 2012,  but if it is not the AFC East, this could be the first time in many moons that the Colts and Pats would not meet in the regular season (being they each have held down their divisions 1 spots for so long).

The Colts demise has also affected the quality of NFL product in the prime time slots. I mean the 2^nd half ratings for this Sunday night’s matchup of the Colts v Saints may drop below the Mendoza line (that’s below a 2 Nielsen rating for you non-baseball folks). This brings me to another point, and that is all NFL prime time matchups should be on a “flex" schedule. I am talking about giving teams 2 weeks notice that they are going prime time. If the NFL wants to put the best “product” on the field we should see some of these up and coming young whipper snapper teams…and in seasons like this with unforeseen circumstances, certain teams (with horse shoes for logos) should be banned.

Even a Blind Squirell Can Find a Nut Every Now and Then:

Mike Brown, makes a genius football move sort of, by getting 1^st round draft picks for a player who was not going to play another snap for him anyway. Lest we forget, Brown in his infinite stubbornness was going to hold on to Carson for nothing had it not been for some aligning of the stars with the injury to Raider starter, Jason Campbell, Raider head coach, Hue Jackson, having a good relationship with Brown, Big Red having a great rookie campaign. If not for these factors, Carson is still a Bengal, sort of. Great job, Mr. Brown, sort of!

Palmer Was Once Dalton:

I guess good guys can wear black

It seems like only a few short falls ago, a young man came into the league hungry for wins and in only his second full season led his team to the playoffs poised to ride one of the most potent Bengal offenses since the days of Boomer, Brooks, Brown, and Collinsworth…until the 60 yard bomb heard round the world and the name (or some version of it) of Chemo Von Offhimplease was forever etched in the deep subconscious of Bengals’ fans everywhere. Yep, and after that tragic downfall, well you know the rest of the story already.

Will Dalton sport a empty gaze in a few years?

Point is, will that happen to Dalton? (Not the injuries just the beat down delivered year in and year out of being a Bengal). The short answer, yes. It is only a question of how long Big Red can hold out. Wait until outdoor practice this winter, or a lousy waste of a draft pick, or the inexplicable trading away of a fine player other than to save a buck (or 5 million), or the countless other things I don’t even know about happening that are below the standards of other average NFL franchises.

I, for one, still admire Carson for always being the bigger guy, a classy guy, hardly letting his frustrations with the organization go public, even in this latest and final battle where he could have chatted up a hungry media and named names and all type of nonsense. Instead it was the Carson of quiet dignity (that I think was detrimental to him at times), that we all have come to like and even love. And now since this has turned into a Carson tribute, I’ll miss you good buddy…God bless you in your reunion with Hue! Big Red, enjoy the spring of your youth as a Bengal because there are some long cold winters ahead.

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid (Except in the Case of Rex Ryan):

In Rexy’s latest verbal meanderings, he claims that had he coached up those Rivers/Gates/Tomlinson Bolts, he would have brought home a couple rings…The sheer audacity of it leaves no doubt that Rex is trying to take the focus/pressure off of his football team who much is expected from after having made it to 2 AFC championship games in a row, right? WRONG! I am so over this genius ploy of Rex bit. Plain fact of the matter is Rex says whatever is on his mind for better or for worse (and a lot of times for the worse). That’s it, enough of this he is taking the lens off his team, who according to Joe Namath is a coddled bunch of divas who are mediocre at best.

So while Ryan tries to allegedly take the focus off his team, Broadway Joe continues to try to shine his mammoth NYC light on them by lambasting them and Ryan every opportunity he gets. This is the squabble I want to see…I am done with all Rex’s comments/suggestions/video scandals and whatever else until he and Namath start to go full tilt at each other. (This is much like my swearing off boxing until Floyd and Manny fight).

Powerless Rankings:

The rankings remain fairly stable this week, but the boys are really starting to separate themselves from the men…Here are the NFL’s 5 most Powerless teams heading into Week 7:

At the top again

1. St. Louis (Bradford, Jackson, the only way this could get better-by which I mean worse-is if Jackson starts to publically ask to be traded)

2. Indy (They are hot on the heels of the Rams as they jockey for position in the final 2/3 of the season)

3. Miami (As bad as they are they can not pick up any ground on our #1 and 2 Powerless squads)

4. Denver (On a Bye, still moves up a notch mainly by Jax not playing like the 4^th most Powerless team in Pittsburgh on Sunday)

5. Jax (I said they didn’t play like the 4^th most Powerless team, but they did look more like the 5^th most Powerless team)

Dishonorable mention:

KC (the worst 2-3 team in the NFL and possibly ever, they just keep hovering around the Powerless Rankings waiting for their opportunity to bust back in the top 5)

Also, this week we have a key match up with tremendous Powerless Ranking implications when #4 Denver (under the leadership of Tim Tebow) travels to take on the #3 ranked Dolphins. This should be a lousy one.

Famous Last Words:

Minnesota has been competing hard for the #1 draft pick all season long, however they have stepped it up a notch by inserting rookie Christian Ponder behind a banged up O line for their game against the Pack. One thing is for certain, the kid has more mobility than McNabb and who knows, with all these rookies playing lights out this year, maybe this kid can join them. But I doubt it. Minnesota has clearly tossed their hat into the ring for the #1 draft pick so NFL cellar dwellers, you have been warned. In a related tidbit, the Viking lease on the Metrodome is up after this year…hmmm, is this Déjà vu? Another Minnesota team to LA perhaps? 

Join me next Thursday, where we will get back to the Keys and find out if the Bengals can finally achieve defeat in the Volunteer state.

Thanks for reading the:

God Bless Yous!

Bengals Continue the Little Sisters of the Poor Part of the Schedule

Just a couple quick notes:
1. Correction by Jags fan Patrick from last Friday:  I stated David Garrard had a 10-6 record last year, when in fact he was 8-6 and the Jags thus finished 8-8. (I told you I need fact checkers, I simply do not have time to check facts!) Which is a perfect segue into note 2:

2. I don't have time to blog twice a week, not with a family and job and extra hustle on the side and a play I think I still have a part in at my church and the treasurer position in an organization (that I just resigned from). Going forward I will post up on Thursdays and combine the Recap and Powerless Rankings with the upcoming Keys to Defeat for the Bengals...ok let's get it!

3. Recent update: I think NFL.com has banned me from posting my link to their discussion boards...Wow! I will follow up on this story.
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Bengals Recap:
Defeat continues to elude the Bengals as they struggle to find ways to lose games late. The defense has not been giving up enough yards to be ineffective and the offense is too balanced in their attack. They are not losing the turnover battle and are not making enough mental mistakes. If the Bengals don't find a way to turn this thing around fast, they may not even see a top 20 pick. This just goes to show us that losing in this League is not guaranteed. Missing the playoffs every year is not to be taken for granted because one season you look up and the run may be over.

Against Jax, I called it a Mission Impossible, but the loss was unexpectedly within reach. Gabbert outplayed Dalton, the Jags outrushed the Bengals, and played better defense overall. Here is what caused the Bengals victory:
-not losing the turnover battle
-even though the gains in the ground game was paltry, by committing to it the Bengals could not forfeit time of possession, ran 66 plays, and held on to the rock for over 32 mins...
-not finding a way to leave the job undone (esp. in the 4th qtr.)

I don't know what has gotten into them, but finding ways to win late in games and overcoming obstacles on the road is not what Bengals football is all about! They better pull their act apart and soon before the season slides into complete disaster and they make the playoffs...
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Lions and Tigers (and Bears), OH MY!

Detroit's D line gets close and personal with QBs

Running joke: 5-0 and Green Bay are out on a date together, but seated at the other side of the restaurant is Detroit making google eyes at 5-0 as 5-0 begins to flirt back a little. What's this!? Detroit is sending a drink and a note over to 5-0...Do you think anyone in Detroit is paying attention to the Tigers in the MLB playoffs? (Fact checkers I need Detroit local ratings for the Lions Monday night game and the Tigers getting trounced!) Seriously, who do you think won that ratings match up in D Rock City on Monday night? Megatron is not only the coolest football nickname ever, but he lives up to the nickname which is rare in sports these days. Just as impressive, Detroit's front 7 get after the passer like Pepe le Pu gets after the cat he thinks is a skunk.
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The new age D lineman

Which brings me to a separate but equal question: Are today's NFL offensive linemen athletic, stong and nimble enough to hang with D linemen who have seemingly gotten bigger, faster and more explosive over the last several years. Gone are the days of many a big men in the trenches with guts hanging over their pants...There is a new breed, and I am wondering what the answer at offensive lineman will be, if there ever is an answer...Maybe this makes up for how receivers got bigger, faster and more athletic over the years while DB's seem to remain the same. Perhaps these 2 factors cancel each other out...

Anyway, with the Lions front 7 putting on that type of pressure, is it ok yet to ask, WHO IS THE BEST TEAM IN THE NFL?
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Remember last week when I said Philly will right the ship with the leadership of Andy Reid, I am starting to look like a fool for saying that. Thanks, Eagles! Now on to the Powerless Rankings (which the Eagles are one blowout loss away from cracking).
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Powerless Rankings:

In a hectic week, there was quite a bit of shuffling around within and around the Powerless.

Is it time to break out the bags?

1. St. Louis (moved up a spot to take #1 from KC who is showing signs of life, no wait they beat Indy)
2. Indy (lost to KC and rightfully moves up a notch, but not quite weak enough to overtake the Rams in their off week)
3. Miami (moves up 2 spots on a week they did not strap it up, wow, that's bad)
4. Jax (with all the movement up and down this week, one thing remains the same...the Jags suck)
5. Denver (makes their debut in the top 5 Powerless Rankings. With Tebow at the helm, will they continue their meteoric rise to the top of the league doormats?)

Dishonorable mention: KC (even with 2 Ws, just a terrible team), Arizona

There may be some controversy over the top spot, but in my objective system (with a touch of judgment), but the reason St.Louis edges out Indy is because Indy has been more competitive at points this season.
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Keys to Defeat:

This schedule will just not let up as the Bengals are in the midst of a murderers' row of  creampuffs. The weakness is relentless as the Bengals face off against the Painter led (and another organization I suspect of tanking purposely by not jumping on Garrard. Now I hear Jim Irsay float out there that Indy drafting a QB is not out of the question...You don't say.) Indianapolis Colts. You know a team is bad when I scratch my head to find ways for the Bengals to lose to them...

On Offense:

1. Wow...what do I say here? No seriously, what do I say?! The Colts have one of the most awful defenses in the League. The only thing the Bengals O can do to contribute to a loss would be to turn the ball over a bunch of times (5 to be exact). Big Red will need at least a 3 pick game while Bengals RBs and return men will have to fumble at least 3 times just to keep it close. If the Bengals net 5 turnovers, they lose (I think).

On Defense:

1. The Bengals will have to focus on the Colts ground game, esp. since Addai may be out. At least 8 should be in the box all afternoon.

2. In the defensive backfield play zone coverage, however isolate "Coma-toast" on Pierre Garcon.


3. Take the pressure off of Painter. They have to allow him time to go through his reads/progressions. The Bengals cannot afford to harass and collapse the pocket if they expect to lose this game.
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Close to Final Words:

Protesters of the Occupy Wall St. movement...GO HOME. You are siphoning police and other resources including but not limited to tax $$$. I mean, you have got a lot of nerve coming to my city and protesting hard working folks (not stating whether they are under or over paid) who contribute greatly to the economy of NYC. Really, go do something productive and potentially income earning instead of complaining and being bitter about what your neighbor earns. I am sure many of you went to college and you could have majored in economics, finance, business if you so chose, but instead you majored in pet grooming, art, drama theory, protesting etc. So suck it up and continue or adjust your course. My mom was a single mom and raised me and my sister on limited resources in a tough environment and never once complained about anybody making more money. This is America so go get your hustle on and stop the extended camping trip and whining!
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Mike Brown on trading Palmer (according to espn.com's NFL Nation blog): “It would be an option to trade any player, but we have not looked that far ahead,” Brown said. “I’m not focused on it.”  Yep, that sounds about right. And that is why I write this blog...
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Joe Namath alert: Joe Namath appeared on the Michael Kay radio show yesterday and lambasted Rex Ryan once again (I love this stuff). Broadway thinks Ryan is too nice to these guys and that is why the Jets have been making so many mental errors. Broadway also commented that if not for Tony Romo, the Jets could be staring down the barrel of 1-4. Now this is classic Namath...he believes the players should ignore criticism of the fans and media, but wait, Mr. Namath, you have been one of the biggest critics in the media of the team. Anyway, I guess he has the right to since he led the franchise to its only SB win.


Remember, join me again next Thursday for the Bengals recap, Powerless Rankings, the Keys to Defeat, and oh so much more!

As always, thanks for reading the:

God Bless America!

This is is your mission, should you choose to accept it...march into a not so hostile environment in Jacksonville, play an inferior team, and escape with a loss. This is clearly the Bengals toughest challenge so far of this season and an early test of where they are not. It is games like this that the Bengals should win. The Jags are ranked #4 in the Powerless Rankings and have the worst QB in the league. Jax is clearly a team and organization on a mission to get the #1 draft pick. Speaking of which, I suspect some foul play with Jax, ummm, let's just say, increasing their odds of getting the #1 pick by decreasing the quality of their team.

...and this, is how you rumba.

In a year where the AFC South is wide open, you release an above average QB at the (young for a QB) age of 32, coming off a very respectable 10-6 season with around a 91 QB rating. With Garrard and Jones-Drew, you always had a shot to win. You relinquish a chance at the playoffs, the division and any semblance of looking like an organization that knows what they are doing. Not only did you give up wins and a shot at the division, but Garrard is a quality guy who could have helped in the development of your young QBs. You release that guy, the guy you drafted and developed for the very purpose of what this season promised, for...Luke McCown? And then, you hand the keys to what was once a playoff type team over to the rook Gabbert?

Whadaya mean scouting year round

You tell me, tanking purposely? Say what you want about Mike Brown, but when he loses, it is genuine. There is no ulterior motive, its just plain old mismanagement! The Bengals get their #1 and high draft picks the old-fashioned way..."they earn it." I am not a conspiracy theorist (or at least not any more), but indulge me if you will and picture this: "AND NOW, INTRODUCING, AT QUARTERBACK, FOR YOUR LOS ANGELES JAGUARS, THE CALI KID, #12, ANDREW LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





And now, the Keys to Defeat:



On Offense:

1. Be unbalanced. As I mentioned in my recap on Tuesday, it's not good enough for Big Red to toss the rock around 35-40 times, but Gruden has to call less run and limit Bengals RBs to 20 carries or less. If Dalton throws 35 and the Bengals run it 30, even though Dalton is throwing a lot, he is helped by the threat of the run. The Bengals must eliminate this threat so the Jags DBs (one of the better parts of the team) can focus on the pass.

On Defense:

1. Focus on stopping the pass. Go in to a prevent 3 man rush early and stay there. Everybody else has to drop back in pass coverage and make sure Gabbert can not beat them over the top.



That's it, it's a simple game plan this week and it has to be. If the Bengals don't carry out both of these keys, they stand a good chance of picking up this game and falling above .500. The Bengals are going to have to dig deep to pull out a defeat this week. It is still too early to get into watching the standings but the Bengals have just about been eliminated from the #1 pick and even a top 5 pick. However, there is still hope if they can pull their act apart, that they can get a top 10 pick. We will see if they can sink to the occasion and pick up a much needed loss.
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Parting Shots:

I sure do look forward to that Monday night game next week at Detroit

On Hank Williams, without stating whether I agree or disagree with what Hank said (what was Hank thinking though? he must've been hangin out with Willie and Snoop before that interview) or his right to say said thing, ESPN was well within their contractual rights to cut ties to Hank. MNF will go on with or without Hank and I think it will be refreshing to get the focus back to the Du du du du duuuuuuuuuu, (dudun du)/Du du du du du-duuuuuuuuh (duu duu duuuuuuu)/Du du du du du!...

On CB Antonio Cromartie asking Brady to target him, uuuuuuuuhhhh, ok, perhaps this is some sick maniacal ploy to get into the head of Brady. Perhaps this is a line ordered by Rex Ryan. Whatever it is, nothing good can come from this for Cromartie...it's akin to Leon Hall calling out Megatron.

Can you imagine Peyton Manning in a uniform other than the Colts, say like the black and silver of the Raiders? I can't even picture that. Much worse than Joe Montana in a Chiefs uni.

Join me next Tuesday as I recap the Bengals game and talk about other stuff like the blossoming hatred developing between Rex Ryan and Joe Namath, and of course, reshuffle the Powerless Rankings. Until then,

thanks for reading the:

"Good night, and God bless." -R. Simmons-

Bengals Let the Loss Slip through Their Fingertips

Last week it was noted by a great author and thinker of modern times that, "Going into this week, the Bengals will have to overcome one of the most dangerous obstacles to defeat they will have to face this season, and that is, suffering victory at the hands of a team who has a letdown." So here we are with the Bengals staring at 2-2, completely out of the running for the #1 draft pick. Well, we've been here before, and it is a very tough spot, but the Bengals can pull through this if they just get back to the basics: missing blocks and tackles. Where is that can't do spirit that normally would propel the Bengals to defeat on Sunday? Where was that crucial false start or offsides or holding call? Where is the apathy? Where is the, "Hey, look at me!"? Where is the bickering and complaining? Where is Lewis' trademark clock mismanagement? The Bengals better figure it out quick before this season becomes a complete success.

NFL Ramblings


Comeback Kids (And You Thought the NFL No Longer Needed the Run Game):

"Don't call it a comeback..."

"You're up 14, I got you right where I want you!" Have there ever been more comebacks in a 2 week span in the NFL...I won't even get into last week, but this week the comebacks were many and close between:


Bengals down 14 at the half comeback for win
Lions down 17 at the half, comeback for a win
49ers down 17 at the half, comeback for a win
Giants down 10 headed into the 4th qtr, comeback for a win

Enough said!

These type of comebacks rarely used to happen in the NFL. The number and magnitude of the comebacks this week has to be an NFL record. (This is where I need fact checkers, anybody up for this, I don't have time to check the facts). How can you have teams allowing such turnarounds you ask? Well, I've seen it written that running the rock and stopping the run are dead. I come to tell you today that the reason teams are losing in this fashion is because the League is too dang pass happy!! Coaches, listen up! GET YOUR RUN GAMES IN ORDER and you can avoid a lot of this heart ache and stress and media pounding. The NFL used to have closers just like MLB...they were the guys you called on in the trenches who relished the opportunity to shove the ball down the throat of opposing defenses to finish a game off. Running Backs who thrived and padded stats while punishing would be tacklers and beating Defenses into submission. If you don't have a run game, you too will fall victim to the Comeback...


Lions, 4 Wins, and No Losses...Oh My!

Fiercer logo, fiercer team?

Running joke: 4-0 and Green Bay are on a date and the Lions are just tagging along with palpable awkwardness, but they won't leave and let 4-0 and the Pack get it on. Have the words, "I sure do look forward to that Monday night game next week at Detroit" ever been uttered in the entire history of any human language? Well, get ready to hear it all week!  I mean, seriously, is this foreal? This latest win in Dallas was impressive, and they have handled their business against inferior teams. (I can't believe I am talking in terms of teams being inferior to the Lions). The Lions have been automatic wins for the Bears for so many years, I wonder if on Monday they don't come out and open a massive can and take out years of frustration on the Bears like a battered wife who is simply not going to take any more abuse from her husband and snaps. Wow, this game should be interesting to say the least. Lions, meet "must see NFL matchup."


Other Notes:


Philly is not as bad as their record indicates. Andy Reid will right the ship because he is a great coach and they will start winning. NFC East don't throw dirt on em just yet. You heard it here first.


Denver fans should boycott the Broncs until Tebow is named starter. 


Is it me, or is quality QB play on the rise, even from the Rooks? Used to be a time where rookies simply did not come in to the NFL and have great success their rookie season. Now, look at many of today's young QB's and this year's rookies. I still think teams need to run more to secure victory, but these young guns are bringing some quality play to the position.


foxsports.com, it is in poor taste that you have a pic of a man with his ankle hanging off the wrong way as a lead pic for week 4 NFL action. I hope since late this afternoon when I saw it, you took it down. Can Bengals fans of age imagine such a picture of Tim Krumrie's broken leg from SB XXIII being on the front page of the Cincinnati Enquirer's sports page at that time? Maybe I am getting old or squeamish, but it just doesn't seem right.


Bengals Analysis:

-The Bengals failed miserably in surrendering the ball and not utilizing clock. They ran a whopping 68 plays from scrimmage with Big Red tossing 36 times and the backs carrying 32 times. It is hard to overcome such balance when trying to drop a game. In my Keys, when I discuss Dalton throwing over 35 times, that has to be balanced with a lack of run. If Big Red throws it 35 and they run 30, then all bets are off!


-The Bengals D cooled off the hot hand of Fitz. The D just does not seem to be on board to help the this organization reach their goal of a #1 draft pick. 


-They didn't necessarily win at the line of scrimmage but they didn't completely relinquish it either.


-There was one bright spot, they lost the turnover battle, but it was just not enough to overcome the Bills sleepwalking and get an L.
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Coming into this season, I think we all knew that the weakness of the Bengals schedule would be a hindrance to them securing the #1 pick, but now it looks like they will not even make the top 10 draft position with the League being so deep at the bottom. The NFL is built for parity (or for me parody!), by matching opponents based on how they placed in the division, awarding of higher draft picks...this league is all about improving everybody's chances to win. After perennial #1 draft picker, the Lions had enough picks and finished last enough, they were finally able to make good on one of their 12 1st round WR picks and a QB and now they are the toast of the town. (I'm not one for the "jinx" but if Stafford goes down-I think there's odds on this in Vegas-the Lions will go Lions). 


Insert Mike Brown rant here...(I deleted mine)


I for one am not giving up hope yet on a losing season, and who knows, maybe with a little of that old Bengal Magic, perhaps they will re-enter the fray for a top 5 draft pick. Crazier things have happened (like that one time when they made the playoffs).




And now, here are your Powerless Rankings:


1. Kansas City (unbelievable they won a game...oh, they beat Minnesota)
2. St. Louis (The Cards could probably beat them in a game of football right now).
3. Indy (Sad day in Indy when you hear the words, "Painter drops back to pass...")
4. Jacksonville (You can't tell me they are not trying to tank by cutting Garrard)
5. Miami (The Dolphins had been at least somewhat competitive in recent seasons...who did it and ran?)


Honorable mention: Seattle, Denver, Minnesota 


I realize that any one of these teams could be exchanged with the current 3,4,5 teams in our Powerless Rankings. You may be asking yourself, if KC beat Minnesota, how did Minnesota not crack the top 5? The short answer, Minnesota has been in some tighter games than KC and they have more potential to escape the bottom. Hopefully this all starts to clear up in the next couple weeks, or I may have to expand the ranks to 10 teams.


Check back in on Friday to see what the Bengals must do in Jacksonville to avoid falling above .500 (one of the toughest challenges for the Stripes to date)

As usual thanks for reading the...

GOD BLESS YALL!